Another Parenting Lesson: Jesus Doesn't Yell

Saturday, November 28, 2009

It's hard to be a part-time parent. By that, I mean it's hard to work long hours day/night and to occasionally see your family only on the weekends. It's even harder when you take out your work stresses on your family during those limited times you see them. It's worse when you yell at them.

Photo: Pictures by Pwyrdan

My four-year old opened my eyes to my grumpiness last night. You see, I worked all day as the entire rest of the world was off. I came home and started barking commands to the kids to clean up so we could "enjoy the evening together."

Pick up that crayon. And that one. Put that in the trash. Pick up your socks. I told you to fold the blanket. Put the cups in the sink. Do you want to watch this movie with Daddy? Then do as I say, PICK UP!!!

Her precious voice interrupted my loud trumpet: "Dad ... Jesus would not pick up like that."

"I know. He would actually pick up after Himself." I said matter-of-factly.

"No. Not that. He would not yell at us to pick up." She innocently responded.

That was all I needed to hear to be completely, totally and entirely convicted. If you have been one of those parents, you know the feeling. Here is the good news for you and me:

• You are convictable ... meaning you know that there is a difference between good and bad parenting. If you have yelled at your children and realized that what you did was wrong, then there is great hope. If you are a screamer and feel that your actions are always justified (i.e., "They just won't listen."), then you are wrong. But there is still hope for you, too.
• You are changeable ... meaning that you can change your ways. Whether you grew up with yelling parents, or you just fell into the habit recently, you can modify the tone you talk to your children.
• You are in charge ... meaning that you control the situation with your children. Notice that I did not say, "You control your children in all situations." I said, you control the situation. If that means that you need to walk away to find the right tone to talk to them, then take control and walk away.

Here is the take-away: I am called to live a godly life. Every day I fail to meet that standard. Does Christ yell at me when I fail to meet that standard? No. Instead, does his Word encourage me? Yes. With parenting, I am not to change my standard ... I am to encourage my children to meet that standard ... And yelling won't get them there.