My Top Three Year-End & New-Year Evaluations

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Everyone knows that this is a slow week for work ... unless you work in retail and there is a mad, crazy 75% off sale. For me, I am using the time to clean up my legal files, assess the deadlines for the next three months, evaluate what went right in 2009, contemplate what went wrong in 2009, and plan better for 2010.

With so many ways to attack this evaluation process, I want to share with you my top sources of evaluation (in no particular order):

For career development ... Cordell Parvin is a fellow Richmond Spider (...although a few years before me...) and former construction attorney. I came across Cordell's name about 6-7 years ago when I was contemplating a move to Dallas, Texas and I reached out to fellow law school alums. While that venture did not turn out, I have kept in touch with Cordell regularly through his books, blog, and Tweets. While you can find a lot by browsing his blog, my favorite year-end posts include:

• Why You Should Create a 2010 Plan ... Cordell has a webinar on this topic today.


• Practical Tips on How to Do Year End Planning


• And today's post about Planning at the 50,000 Foot Level

For balancing family and career and life ... sure you have your Zig Ziglar's, your John Maxwell's, and even your Rick Warren's ... but my favorite, local, "living-life-right" model is Nashville's own Michael Hyatt, CEO of Thomas Nelson Publishing. I first started following Michael's blog, Leading with Purpose, at the beginning of this year when I revved up my career planning and life assessment. Michael is a model husband-father-businessman-leader, who Tweets about leadership and life. Here are a few of my favorite posts, including the year-end assessment:

• Seven Questions to Ask about Last Year ... the Year Ahead post is expected soon.


• Five Characteristics of Weak Leaders, which gives you a look at how not to lead.


• Two Approaches to Influencing the Family ... notice that Michael likes numbers!

For sheer motivation ... speaker and author Andy Andrew challenges you to evaluate the importance of halftime. As for me, this week is my "halftime" moment and the second half is about to begin. The year 2010 presents some great opportunities for my career, my family, my community and my church. How about you? I know. I have lived them, too. The past few years have been tough. But the best years lie ahead.

What are you going to do to make 2010 different? ... or better yet ... What are you going to do to make a difference in 2010?

Baker. Buyer. Banker. Which Are You?

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

There does not appear to be enough time during the day to get it all done. I wonder how the John Maxwell's, Zig Ziglar's, Dave Ramsey's, or Dennis Rainey's get it done on their end?

Okay. Now that I got that out of the way, I want to tell you about something real important. It is about a family in the south Nashville area that may not have Christmas this year. Well, that was almost true until our church got involved. I spoke with the mom of this family today. I could hear the tears of joy as I explained what we proposed to do: "We want to come along side your family and help brighten your holidays."

I proceeded to ask about the three children (ages 2, 5, 17). I asked about her husband. I asked about books. I asked about games. I asked about clothes. I asked about household items. I asked about food.

Yes. We can help this family. We already have over 25 volunteers ... to help make food (BAKERS) ... to help buy clothes and gifts (BUYERS) ... and to help pay some bills (BANKERS). Do you live in the Nashville area and want to help this family? Do you live outside the Nashville area and want to help this family? Either way, let me know.

Be a baker, buyer, or banker!

Mentor Me @MichaelHyatt

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Finding a mentor is a lot like getting life insurance. You know you need it, but you don't know where to start. You may not want to pay the premiums, but you believe in the investment. And after you sign the commitment, you immediately feel a sense of security. Life is doable.

Photo: Flickr foxypar4

Mentoring has been on my brain for the past few months. As I sat at local diner this morning, I was amazed at the booths that were filled with mentors of all shapes and sizes. A boy and his mother chatting about the holidays. A senior advisor with a young man discussing year-end performance. Four suits in the corner going over their presentation one last time. Two men (one talking, one listening) of a broken marriage. It was all around me.

While I have found the world to be full of opportunities to mentor someone else, the task becomes overwhelming to find yourself a mentor. Imagine my surprise two weeks ago when I learned that Michael Hyatt, CEO of Nelson Publishing, sent out an invitation to be a part of his mentoring group. If you live in the Nashville area and want to be considered for this amazing (yet challenging) task, please fill out an application. It will take about 30 minutes.

And now, @MichaelHyatt, here is my pitch. First, do I qualify? Yep.

• Resident of the greater Nashville ... CHECK ... just moved here in 2006.


• Devoted follower of Jesus Christ ... CHECK ... without quibble or reservation.


• Broken men, who are hungry for growth ... CHECK ... I am that "overwhelmed" family guy being pulled in too many directions, which causes conflict in my marriage, with my children, at my church, and through my job.


• Married career man who are in their late 20s or 30s ... CHECK ... although my bones feel as if I am 80.


• If already parents, children under 12 ... CHECK ... luckily Michael did not put a limit on the number of children (...whew...)


• Humble men, willing to look at themselves in the mirror and make changes to improve, and, at the same time willing to accept direct, personal, and comprehensive feedback without being defensive ... CHECK ... just read about why my daughter called me a Stupid King or why my other daughter asked about my yelling. Ouch.


• Willingness to replicate the mentoring process at least once with eight other men sometime in the future ... CHECK ... I'm a big fan of Pay It Forward (...Ask me one day about how I got to law school ...)

While I qualify, am I the right person? Yes. My wife and I often joke about my wasted potential. Sure, I am doing okay as a provider, husband and father. But "okay" is not good enough. I want—and I think God expects—excellence. Not perfection, but excellence. While I have the heart desire to fulfill my potential ... well ... I'll just say it ... I lack the tools to get there.

Michael, I have too many balls in the air. Every other day a ball drops. I stop. I pray (sometimes). I pick up the ball and start over. I don't think the answer is to get rid of those balls. I need you to teach me how to juggle.

I Love Future of Forestry's Solstice DVD

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

I can't believe Christmas is upon us so soon. As you know, I do not pimp people, places, products or things on this website too often. I made an exception last year at this time for Future of Forestry because it was such an awesome album. This year, I have to make another exception because FoF has released their Solstice DVD. Again, these guys should be playing on every Christian/Christmas radio station. Here is a preview ... song starts at about :58 seconds.

If you want to send someone the Solstice DVD as a gift for Christmas, you can order it here. Just make sure that you tell them growingandgrowing.com sent you.

The Difficulty in Living Two Lives

Thursday, December 03, 2009

I was headed out of town on Monday for two weeks in Virginia for a case going to trial. My little one stopped me in the morning and asked why I was going to work with my suitcase. I told her the truth: "I'm going to see my other family."

I jokingly explained that I had another family in Virginia ... with a home, kids, and a job there. Okay. So that part was a lie. She giggled. So did I.

It has now been three days and I have not seen them. I miss them dearly. It feels like forever because I was absent for the two weeks leading up to my departure. Upon my return early this morning, I drove straight from the airport to work. I still have not seen them. Did I tell you I miss them dearly?

It feels nearly impossible to live two lives ... but we try to do it all the time. For example, when things are going right on my work blog, this blog seems to fall to the back burner. When I pour a lot of time and effort into my career and professional development, my family gets pushed to the side. If you have played this tug-of-war between two lives before, then you know the frustration. But there is hope. And here are some tips:

• Decide that you can only live one life. Most of my hurdles over the past ten years have stemmed from that fact that I tried to compartmentalize every aspect of my daily life (i.e., work, health, family, friendships, church). Each had their own little box. Until we come to the realization that there is only room for one life, there will be conflict.


• Pick the life that is fueled by your passion. There is no sense in living the life that that drags you down. This weekend Rick Warren, pastor and author of A Purpose Driven Life, talked about being stuck in a meaningless career and the importance of finding your passion or purpose.


• Once you pick that life, prioritize your priorities. Just because you may have a conflict between work and family does not mean you have to choose one and ignore the other. That, my friends, does not work. Trust me. But once I picked family first, then I was able to prioritize the rest. For me, it looks something like this: God > Family > Work > Church > Everything else.

The rest of this plan is unwritten. It has taken me years to get to this point. My life equation above is a set of priorities. Am I living them right? Not always, but we're working on it.

Question: Are you living two lives? Are you ready to pick one? What helps you make you decision?

Photo: Flickr: eqqman